There is a light at the end of the tunnel, people say….but some days it just feels like the tunnel doesn’t end!
You wake up, groggy…dread having to get up and make your own coffee, wishing someone would just bring it to you, so you can stay in bed for a few more minutes. You get up anyway and stumble into the kitchen on the cold hardwood floor, kick the dog on accident because she wanted to say good morning, and you were so completely out of it to realize she was there. You rub your eyes and yawn and look at the clock and notice it’s nearly 11am, wondering what the heck happened that made you sleep until 11AM! I guess depression has began to set in.
You know you suffer from boarderline personalitity disorder and add/ADHD, and take meds for mood stabilization and depression, but it seems to not be working. At least for right now. Maybe that’s why a light at the end of the tunnels in sight! Depression and anxiety when they set in can be thick.
The day rolls on and you have a list of things to do, yet you have NO energy, motivation, nothing….you just want to crawl back in bed and pull the covers over your head and cuddle with the dog because she seems to be only one who listens but doesn’t bark or talk back. (Of course she is a dog) you wonder how you will muster up the energy to do all the things on your list. Prayer is the first that comes to mind…..so you try that!
You feel weak, mentally, physically, spiritually and emotionally. You can’t seem to identify the EXACT problem, maybe it’s because there’s more then one that have just piled up, and have turned into mountains instead of molehills. A series of events have taken place causing stress to a degree in which the light PERIOD is dim. It’s hard to deal with much of anything right now. Your family, the mess in your living space, the laundry, food, the gas light being on, pain in general…..you get the point. Everything is overwhelming….
Although this isn’t a true situation for me EXACTLY, parts of it most defiantly are too close to home. I think anyone who suffers from depression or mental health can relate.
Currently, I’m going through a similar spot. Struggling to drag myself out of bed, when I was finally on a normal body clock….that’s off, for now, working on it! Stress makes me not want to eat, and I want to isolate. I know that tomorrow comes and it’s another day… let’s try again tomorrow and see what comes!!!
For now it’s just another night and I will try and get some rest….maybe I see some light, but I’m sure sick of the damn tunnels!